Poem: Lost Generation (Book: The Quarter Life Crisis Poet)

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LOST GENERATION

 

We are the heir
To Blair
In academia we make our bet
They get into debt.

Fortune is linear?
Starve, charge and never recharge.
Let’s get skinnier.

We are living it up
Naivety of a pup
In the workplace we are like slaves
Then at night we rave.

Our big break will come.
Chase, trace and encase.
To the beat of our drum

But I will not succumb

You are all so dumb
Here I become

And then some…

An artist.

I escaped to Bohemia

Away from academia
Ran from the curse
In my converse
And then some

Ran away from academia
Away from the curse
In my converse
To Bohemia

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The Analysis:

Originally I had discussed the meaning of the poem in this interview Q&A for author of The Heart trilogy book series Audrina Lane found here.

It was written 30th September 2010 after I dropped out of Law school and I was just unleashing my frustrations at academia and the political system in general. The title is an homage to the Beat Generation. The poem is essentially a vision of how my life would unfold. And who knows maybe now I’ve became the Artist? It has a rhythmical pace in the last two stanzas expressing the circumnavigational nature of life which contrasts with an earlier rhetoric: Fortune is linear? This echoes how society dictates how life should unfold. Though truthfully the path to success is more curvaceous it ebbs and flows yet peaks and troughs.

Looking back it’s so ironic that poetry was my source of unleash and then it was like I just stopped and didn’t pick it up again until January 2013 which was one heck of a pivotal year. 2013 was truly the year of The Search of Everything… But that’s for a future blog post.

I didn’t read other poets I just had so much pain and distress and it just manifested in these poems- it needed release. The only poetry training/teaching I’ve had is GCSE English Literature which ended at age 16.

This poem grapples with Quarter Life angst and the futile promises made to Millennials that we could achieve anything we wanted. It’s the most self-explanatory poem and the most foretelling as it was devising my own buried dreams for a Bohemia, a life filled with artists and poets one I wouldn’t attempt to forge until 2013. Subconsciously, I had finally walked off the path of convention and was ready to Manifest Destiny... I just didn’t know it yet!

Have I arrived in Bohemia? Not just yet, there’s still a long way to go…

The only thing getting in my way (at the time of writing) was the guy in the poem that followed after it called 2am…

 

M o r e   a b o u t   C a t h e r i n e ‘ s   p u b l i s h e d   w o r k s :

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3D TR The QLC S VThe Quarter Life Crisis Poet: a collection of poems on pain heartbreak and defiance by a twenty-something

What we have here is a Romantic, a Dreamer who got overthrown by the people around her. Whispers of deep hurts overlay the pages. This is a soul trying to climb out of the well of despair. Cursed with unfulfilled love, filled with longing. Nobody to turn to. So she writes, she satisfies her need to be understood through poetic emblems. She reflects on what could have been and comforts old wounds of a past undeclared. After Crisis comes the Calm. There is Hope in these Poems after all Catherine Vaughan is a Romantic with Hopes that True Love will return. After all the delay of romance is not a denial of it…

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3D TR EczemaThis quick guide reveals the effective and surprising secret foods, drinks and creams that can rapidly improve your skin. For instance did you know that grapefruit juice can alleviate eczema? Read this book to find out the best creams and ointments you can buy at the supermarket to reduce skin inflammation. Learn the Miracle Juice Recipe to make at home to clear your skin. This book is the ultimate lifestyle guide to help you understand the unsuspecting factors that aggravate your eczematous skin and help you find the best products to use in your home to keep eczema at bay. This is a truly holistic and quick-read health guide to help you heal your skin from the inside out. Plenty of simple and easy tips for you to get started with today on your journey to reclaiming healthy skin!

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Pirate Padlock: Fiction extract and small poems

Screenshot (108)

During a Writer’s workshop using this C 19th Padlock and key I came up with the following dialogue/fictitious extract.

“Don’t think you can get in without me! I am the guard, the man in charge, without me there would be carnage. I protect the secrets and deceits of history. Without me you have no truth and no proof. I am the commander, second to the General. One order I will not declare: Left or Right. It is up to you to decide. Don’t touch me unless you wear the badge of honour.” –The Key

The Stranger: “What do you protect?”

The Key: “Well you should know… What are you a spy? Oh my!”

The Stranger: “I have come to claim my rightful fortune!”

The Key: Get away you filthy pirate. Your gold and medallions fool not fool me.”

The Stranger: “You lie! I have twisted and turned, you do not work!”

The Key: “Get out!”

The Stranger: “Well then I shall have to destroy you and that lock where you cowardly sit and hide in.”

The Key: “Nooooo!”

The Stranger: “Ahoy my Captain, send me a hammer to beat this metal in a violent manner!”

 

Cinquain:

The Key
Three keys attached
Iron, black, lost, hidden, found.
Inside Hereford’s historic
Mansion.

Tercet:

Hear that knock?
Beware the knock!
Quick, look at the clock

Just try one more
No, through that door
If we don’t hide it there will be war.

Get that gold and store
It under the floor
Guard that door with an oar.

Copyright © 2016 Catherine Vaughan

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Writer’s Conflict:

It seems there are categories and varying ranges of and barriers between different art forms. When one writes fiction others assume it derives from imaginary people and events. Yet under that umbrella lies different genres such as thrillers and spiritual writing. The authors of the former genre are not accused of being criminal masterminds regardless of how compelling their plot is, yet writers of the latter genre like Paulo Coelho end up being identified as embodying the style they write as he is often called a spiritual ‘guru’ which he does not necessarily agree with.

Then there is the blurred lines between one’s personal life and professional life. Musicians such as Adele and Chris Martin write about melancholy moments and past flames regardless of whether their relationship status is blissfully committed or lonesome. Taylor Swift blatantly throws shade via 3 1/2 minutes of musical and lyrical composition.

Although some poems are about very real experiences, some are mere emotional remnants involving no people or circumstances just raw emotion. Sometimes it’s an amalgamation of emotions from career frustrations to romantic heartache and general heartache because it is not just lovers that stab that organ.

Additionally we have actors who actively engage with other people in many ways from unleashing rage to exhibiting lust for a visual production. If actors in relationships can make out with someone else for the whole world to see why can’t I write about some stuff that happened in the past? I give myself permission to write about most things because I know that if it is written about its significance in my life becomes negated via my writing. And if I’m writing about past relationships (the x2 guys I’ve only ever dated): well yeah that’s what girls do. But it is never about a particular guy: the focus is always feelings, feelings and more feelings.

So having or not having a boyfriend will never stop me writing what I do because ultimately my poetry is part of the process of expelling and reducing the magnitude of the over-powering reaction/dread/anguish I felt about something. It is a purge of permanent proportions. It is a risk we artists must take. I mean how does Adele feel singing about a particular bad relationship- for the rest of her career? Yet the pain is what resonates with her listeners. It is not about an ex-boyfriend named X, it is about actions, disappointments and emotional triggers that we can all relate to. It is a complex dynamic of vulnerability and acceptability. It doesn’t matter if the songs are about a hellish string of bad relationships or one huge devastating break-up. The songs or paintings or books have to be created because they are powerful experiences and we have experienced fragments of it or will do sometime in our life. When someone is bold enough to confess it through art we can seek solace from it. For the perpetrators, well that is just sweet revenge for the suffering soul who had to create it in the first place. In the end it doesn’t really matter and therein lies the acceptability because ultimatly the lyrics of heartbreak are a universal expression of any type of pain.

A final note is that these experiences good or generally bad are the content triggers without them we’d be empty and bare with nothing much to say. He, she, it: does not matter.

One thing is for sure none of my poems are about anyone particular person. How is that? Because y’all are so boring, y’all are Philistines. Why else would I be writing as much as I do? My poems are not about people they are about emotion. And let’s face it the emphasis is always me, myself and I. 😛 Furthermore my writing is more veiled and deeper than I’m given credit for.

Case in point:

“LOST LOVE”
I don’t know when you set off.
Or was it when I got lost?
I lost you. Love.
To fail at a Dream is a Luxury.
To forget a Dream is a Tragedy.
This is our Purpose in Life. Don’t let convention stab you with a knife!
Do as you please. Be selfish. But be generous too.
Because in this world there is
Me & You.
So reach out, hold onto it dearly. In your heart you see what you want Clearly.

 

Part of me is always wanting to explicitly explain everything another part of me treats my poems like they are thorns pulled out my body never to be in contact with again. There’s always that friction and that is what makes the most compelling content. But then I feel the need to defend my work so it does not get miscast. This is not a poem about any form of love. It is a separate stream of passion. The passion that is connected to our inquiring minds as to what to do with this gift we are given called life. It is simply about following your passions and dreams in life. Pronouns are provocative. “I don’t know when you set off,” is not about a lover or friend or whoever leaving or abandoning you. It is within the context of what the longings of our imaginations are; of how we idealize our life to be. It is about remembering that invincible kid inside us who used to believe that anything was possible. The finals words: “Me & You” is my way of symbolically concluding that in reality there is no need for the finale, no need for that happily ever after with someone else because there are only two fulfilling paths in life: 1) God 2) Pursuing that thing that makes your soul shine.

Of course if someone wants to believe it exists in a romantic capacity then take it as that. People think what they want…. So whatever.

I appreciate the need for ambiguity to just leave my writing as is but sometimes it’s nice for me to just put it out there about what my work is really all about. I could write essay’s on my poems, I find it that enjoyable!

Copyright © 2016 Catherine Vaughan

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