@realDonaldTrump is evil. Remember evil lives and evil loves…

As I wrote this time last year in November 2015… Link here.


All he has to do is keep quiet be a little more mild-mannered and BOOM everyone will think he’s an upstanding gentleman and credible. I sincerely and seriously believe he will become President. I’m not saying I want him to be. It’s purely on the basis of his huge global platform, his ingrained presence in many minds and deep understanding of financial engineering and contacts combined with his showmanship. It doesn’t matter that people hate him he is a candidate unlike any other: an irresistible combination of outrage, charm, unsettling/non-specific policy positions plus his recent tactic to inject some sensibility is a #winning formula. He’ll be golden.

I always knew Trump would get this far, but y’all didn’t believe me. How did I know? Because I understand the power of celebrity. ‘Celebrities’ are a dominating force, I wouldn’t underestimate them.

Above in the interview on Good Morning America (GMA) in October 2016 is frightening because Trump seems so decent, but he’s NOT, he’s just playing a game that many are falling for.

Keep in mind that evil lives and evil loves. Evil is deceptive, evil is subtle. It’s not just serial killers that are evil. There are many forms of evil but you are all too blind to see it. In previous years it was apparent Trump had a dark side, anyone can see he’s a bully, he’s selfish and cunning. I just assumed he was greedy and heck maybe has the odd extra marital affair and is an ego-driven maniac. He’s worse. He’s uncontrollable, manipulative and cannot be reasoned with. He would be impossible to cooperate or work in any functional capacity in the White House. Yes he’s charming, yes he’s glamorous and has built an impressive Real Estate career but you need to understand the vested interests of a soul. Previously I just though he was power-hungry. Yet step back and take a moment to reflect of his life. He’s¬†70 years old and amassed a huge fortune, he’s had the beautiful wives and accomplished children he has built a global empire… What is he after? There is no answer. Trump is not even in the driving seat of his ambitions, he’s just a maniac.¬†He’s illogical, unreasonable and dangerous. This recent disclosure by Richard Branson should raise concerns. He is not an atypical avarice-filled businessman there’s something darker in the surface akin to Hitler and Mussolini.

If he really wants one last final challenging goal in life why not harness his real estate acumen into BUILDING AFFORDABLE HOUSING FOR LOW TO MIDDLE INCOME FAMILIES? NOT run for Presidency.

America needs to rise above their craving for entertainment. Politics is not an entertainment arena it’s a decision-making one with ramifications worldwide. One must be prudent and rational when selecting a President not seeking novelty, drama and excitement. Such preferences belong to imbeciles. Don’t be one of them.

A notable factor of¬†Kim Kardashian being held at gun point and staying off social media has helped prevent the possible momentum of her potentially and nonsensically blurting out foolishly that she may vote for The Donald or compliment him in any way. ¬†(Don’t underestimate celebrity- God forbid she makes her social media comeback in the next few hours¬†and shows her support for this maniac.)

Back to Trump, his treatment of women has been despicable and women working in the White House have every right to be fearful of him, men too because he’s a manipulator and a¬†LIAR: he cannot be trusted. Even if the natural check and balances of government is applied he could still wreck havoc in power purely from his remarks in the media it would offend fellow world leaders and institutions the world over. He could ignite anger and terror on foreign nations and America’s reputation will be forever ruined if he is elected as President this week.

The only hope we can glimmer from his dangerous astronomical rise in politics is pray, and I mean pray that he is only being put so highly on a pedestal as one final attack by karma to push him off it this week. It’ll be a fall to ruin him though it will not stop him. He would only cunningly use it to his advantage and incite rumors of corruption in the voting system. Riots would break out. Donald can appeal to the masses who lack critical thinking skills as his vicious accusations sound like profound revelations on unknowing minds. Donald Trump would say: “Oh I didn’t win, you see that, American democracy sucks. The media are out to get me. They set me up. Cast another vote, do a recount….” And he would go on and on. Surely enough media outlets have rightly openly supported Clinton. YET FOOLISH MINDS WOULD FALSELY ASSUME CORROBORATION¬†AS A SIGN OF CAUSATION THUS PROOF.¬† People could see this open support for Hillary as evidence that Trump was right in saying the media are turning against him. Well excuse me Mr Trump but YOU HAVE BEEN AGAINST EVERYONE: people of various races, socio-economic backgrounds and disabled people the list is endless. That is evil. See the sign folks. When he mocked that disabled reporter that was the absolute last straw for me.

Those with lesser cognitive analytical skills who have doubts in the system have sadly believed the outrageous accusations and or claims made by Trump throughout his volatile campaigning as true because they lack the skills to analyse and understand the concept of bias and manipulation tactics. Donald blurts out contaminated truth and lies with the potent cocktail concoction of fiery speech and moments of calm.

He is detrimental to Western democracy and if he gets into power chaos will ensue on a global level. Trump will ask students to repay their loans at an astronomical level and time period. People will revolt. We have never been more ripe to have the new world order implemented. The dollar could easily collapse at any point with him in power. You will want to flee the land of opportunity with Donald in power, if you don’t feel like fleeing he’ll sure as hell want to kick you out. Stop the breaches in logic America. Analyse Trump’s behaviour, see him for what he is: a maniac. You do not understand how easy it is to ruin¬†American society how easily water sources, electricity and such essentials can be cut off and controlled purely for someone’s financial gain. Think Trump wouldn’t do that with his array of connections? Think again. And think correctly this time.

There is nothing to gain having Donald Trump in power. Nothing.
He’s a Master of Manipulation. He’s playing you all BIG time.

Sadly Hillary doesn’t have much appeal, but at least with Clinton it will be same old same old. She’s your standard politician and the sane option.

Despite my earlier belief in a Trump prominence in the run up to the elections that I could forsee ahead of everyone else as I just always knew Trump would get this far. I actually now  believe Hillary will get the job. 

I truly believe and know that this week TRUMP WILL LOSE EVERYTHING. He won’t just lose the election he will lose his wife, family, colleagues and wealth. His business will crumble he has tarnished the brand he has so tirelessly built his whole life. Trump will be a laughing stock. Art of the deal: comeback NO more. He is surrounded by intelligent people, his wife must feel so much shame and no doubt this campaign has been devastating on their marriage after the allegations and audio and video footage of his misogynistic treatment of women and sexual harassment of women. His children probably secretly despise him and after his failure at running for Presidency they will depart to save their career and livelihood. Get ready to be alone Trump. Nobody wants you.

We have to take a moment to consider and appreciate the fact that we currently have Barack Obama as US President. That was a landmark and incredible decision the American voters actively selected twice! The American people chose right and I believe the American people will choose right again by voting for Clinton and making Hillary the first woman President of the United States.

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America, your country and the rest of the world needs your sensible and reasonable compliance to vote for the logical, sane and right candidate.

God Bless you America

Vote Hillary Clinton tomorrow!


On Writing + Happiness:

I boldly confess, that I Catherine Vaughan am…. Dare I say it. I am finally in a happy place. “I am ha- huh- HAPPY.” It has taken me my entire life to get to this point. Everything is happening all at once plus I’m ticking off my wish-list at wildfire speed.

Happiness seems¬†a bizarre¬†state to confess it seems at odds with a True Writer’s Life. I can feel the despair crumbling away… Thankfully I’m never out of fictitious ideas to write about which is good I’m still having ideas¬†and it is getting to the point whereby any true hurt to write about is quite simply out of date. It’s weird. It’s good. I know my primary goals is to write fiction but I identify more as a Poet and previously my poems were shattered pieces of my broken heart and soul. But those pieces have been swept¬†away with time. I’ll continue to pick up those¬†shattered glasses, or what remains of them. But I guess it is time for a change and I have to set new writing goals:

  • Poetry to become like story-telling¬†
  • Prose to become more Poetic
  • Fiction to¬†follow the rhythmic sways of Poems
  • All forms of Writing to follow the melodic synchronicity of Song-Writing


Copyright © 2016 Catherine Vaughan


On writing about darkness:

A lot of my writing from poetry to prose explicitly or indirectly talks about pain and darkness. This is unintentional. I just can’t control it sometimes. I have a new novel coming out this spring it is called “Welcome to Wonderland.” It is a Bohemian Love story with many beautiful but equally devastating plot twists.

They say write about what you know and the only thing I know and have experienced about life are good fortune at times and devastating, unimaginable lows.

There is a passage is this upcoming book that says how a couple of the villains in the book are so twisted you would be lucky if they paid to have you beaten to death. Their punishment of choice? Driving their enemy to commit suicide. Initially I felt unease. This is dark stuff. Notably there is no violence or disturbingly graphic scenes.

But that line: drive an enemy to the big S word we never talk about. That is deep. It may seem outlandish or cruel but we forget to acknowledge reality. In the book it is a certain wealthy character that has this dark drive.

My focus in my writing is to tell a compelling story with beauty, culture juxtaposed with the sadness and pain of life because we don’t just have the former alone. There is always truth in what I write, I can’t help it, it just comes out. I’m pretty perceptive and intuitive. Some mistake my sharp, deep and terse writing for deliberate infliction of distress. It is not. I could never do that. I’m just accurate in identifying the universal strand of truth and suffering. My brain automatically assesses or creates information/content from first principles thus there is always maximum coverage/depth from the simplest idea I merely think of. I can’t help it. If you think a villain uttering the words that he’d rather drive an enemy to suicide is too dark: let’s take a detour. This following analogy came after I wrote the dark passage. I know that what I write is more that what is typed. It is universal and it’s powerful to utter the stories we don’t dare speak up. It is hard but it must be¬†told, the only acceptable form to do so is fiction.

Imagine an 11 year old boy who has just moved to a new town and has started high school.


His parents have split up, he is the new kid, he lives in a block of flats; no garden; no park to play in. His father works full-time and has a new girlfriend so there’s not much one-on-one time with his son. He’s finding it hard to make friends. He’s the shortest boy in the class and a little skinny. One kid in gym class picks on him as he is partnered up with the prettiest and tallest girl in class. More boys join in on the teasing. They say he’s short, he’s ugly. He goes home and hardly sees any of his old friends on social media because they’ve forgotten about him by now. So he adds some people from his class in an attempt to make new friends. Some reject the “friend request” others accept. He’s not great at sports- just Maths. But it’s not cool to do your maths homework so in a bid to fit in he stops too. At first the boys kinda let him in a little subject to him letting them copy from him for homework and future tests. The kid that first picked on him adds him on facebook. He’s kinda relieved, maybe he wants to be friends. So he accepts the friend request, but the boy is no different online.

Now he just has more fuel to bully him. He finds old photos of him wearing glasses and calls him ugly. They make sly comments about him not having any friends. They label him gay. It gets worse and worse. He tells his Dad who just says “hey don’t worry about it.” He’s torn between even finishing his homework because the cool kids don’t and he wants to fit in. His grades slip, teachers bemoan about the slip in grades. They don’t acre to ask why he’s gone from an average ‘B’ to ‘D-‘. They just label him as not bright and non-compliant with school work. He confides in one teacher that it’s been 6 months and he has not made one friend, teacher’s dismiss his pain say he just needs to be more confident- to stop worrying. His Dad says join the weekend football team. Sadly those horrid boys from school are already on the team and he’s crap at sports anyway. He wants to take up the clarinet again but Dad can’t afford the fees. He has to have a special free lunch for¬†school because he is from a low-income household. He has an aunt nearby but she’s got three kids under 10 and is always busy. She does love her nephew but she has too much on her plate. So he stays indoors after school and the weekend. He starts a little blog on Warhammer and games like that. But before you know it the kids at school have found it and take the mick.

Every possible route to a supposed ‘normal kid life’ is blocked or mocked: his Dad, teachers, friends (or lack there of), hobbies, family etc. So what is that 11 year old child supposed to do? He can’t just pack up and move to his Mother’s who is 4 hours away with a new man. He could face even more rejection at another new school and what would his Dad think of him for choosing his Mum instead. He feels trapped. He is trapped. There’s only so much an 11 year old boy can do.

Then on Facebook someone at school calls him a “loner” that he would be better off dead. He thinks this over. He believes it is true. So tell me does that scenario by all¬†those¬†people¬†surmount¬†to someone being driven to suicide?

You think suicide is selfish and depression is indulgent. Sometimes it is the only logical state of mind and state of being a person can feel given their circumstances. Obviously people are not always intentionally driving someone to that state but others are even if they do not notice it.

Ergo my writing is not unnecessarily dark it coneys truths. The truths we do not want to face or hear about. Unfortunately these dark circumstances happen everyday. The least we could do is be pleasant to people. So yeah my writing may upset people but it has to be written, it is not what you originally think and finally I could never write something to maliciously hurt someone. Never. But my writing ends up bleeding truth whether I want it to or not. All I intended was to write a sweet love story with Bohemians, creatives, billionaires and poets and something bigger than myself came out, darker than I ever imagined. I’m never trying to be political or take a dig at society. That’s not my intention. My writing is deep and sophisticated it can satisfy superficial¬†whims alongside one’s propensity towards depth and meaning. Ultimately my next book is a moving, deep and pensive book. It is also an enjoyable read, it will be an emotional roller coaster but you will have been glad to have read it and it ends on a most intriguing, beautiful and heartfelt scene.

Copyright © Catherine Vaughan 2016.


On suffering:

I guess now I understand The Glory of Suffering. I could never understand Jesus growing up. The concept of him being a suffering God. That he was a sacrificial lamb. I detested the immense focus on suffering in Christianity; how it was glorified.

But now as I get older I see the reason I turned so far away from Jesus was because he reflected my own suffering and he was the physical and spiritual embodiment of the most grotesque of sufferings: when good people are emotionally, psychologically and physically beaten to death.

My whole life had been endless misery. Devastating event after event, tragedy after tragedy and nobody to turn to. Every single source of help or comfort was annihilated. Everybody let me down. It would drive one to take a gun to their head if they knew my life. But I cannot discuss it in an attempt to protect those not innocent.

I heard passages about how God loves us that all things work out for the greater good. Yet I saw no happy ending anywhere: not in my life not in others. I’m not a cynic but I don’t believe in happy endings.

Growing up my biggest inspirations were Britney Spears and John Mayer and now they’re older and they are not with anybody. It makes me sad. But maybe a happy ending is a false idol. What if it is unnecessary? That is not to say true happiness cannot be found in and with someone else. Anything is possible. Though this negates the fact that generally speaking humans are broken and if they have not been broken they are doing the breaking and inflicting pain in some capacity. Most¬†significantly is that humans are disappointing creatures. I’m not saying every person is, it’s just that people tend to lean on that way of being. It’s not always intentional it just is.

There is liberation to be found from true and non-self-caused suffering. You see deeply into the mechanics of humanity. It becomes a warning sign. You receive the truth and it is brutal. But we must not allow it to dictate our lives. Sure the suffering others impose upon us can alter the entire path of our lives but we must strive for Victory and believe in God’s promise that all things work out for the greater good even when we have been thrown into Hell for no reason.

I decided to be a Writer at 15. I’m a person of integrity I fulfill duty, responsibility as well as my dreams. Sometimes we have to be careful for what we wish for. The time from that decision to now has been devastating. If you knew my life you would ¬†label me a Masochist for saying that everything worked out as she should be I am exactly where I need to be. I know pain and I understand life and I am still very young. At least I cannot be surprised anymore. There is none of that gut-wrenching shock when people attack or omissions arise. I have been exposed to the true nature of humanity and now I understand why¬†“we are all sinners.”

That’s not to say I am a saint¬†I am aware of my flaws. But the only way to accept the prolonged suffering I have had is to accept the fact that humans are cruel but not everybody is. I don’t hope for good people, I don’t long for understanding. I no longer hope that the love I crave be returned to me. I have given up on Hope and the powerful part is, is that it no longer hurts me to walk alone. I have God and my faith and that is enough these days. I am also pursuing my writing. I have interests and activities that truly fulfill me. I also cannot deny the fact that from a social media lens my life does look exciting and glamorous. It is. Maybe travel and adventure is my reward in life. Perhaps I’m being prepared for bigger things… I’ve had the shattering lows and the parallel highs are for the taking.

I think back to my youth, home alone, nobody acknowledging my pain, being ignored, horrific things occurring and I wandered how did I survive it? Well I just got curious. I discovered great guitarists, art, I did drawings and I consumed myself in my passions. I had the cure back then. It is the only way. There are only two sources of unconditional joy in life and that is Faith and immersing yourself in your passion. It doesn’t mean you drop your day job and start a rock band. (But hey you could: anything is possible.) You just have to explore and find something that makes you overjoyed to be alive and we can all find it.¬†This I promise you. Just get curious, be obsessive it can be over anything but not anyone. We cannot hope to preserve that bond we had with a childhood best friend and no lover on earth can fill the void we have inside us.

But nature, art, science- anything not human- your pet, numbers, words they can satisfy you if you are brave enough to accept this truth. Life will never be perfect- it doesn’t have to be. I believe there is a greater destination we are to aim for and do anything we can to get into: Heaven. Life is unsatisfying and that’s okay. There are so many incredible highs we can accomplish: graduation, employment, births, travel, hobbies, gatherings with loved ones.

Life may have broken and defeated me but I¬†still keep going, I am strong and I accomplish a heck of a lot on the way. I will never succumb to despair anymore. I’m not here to sell you a line and say “Life is Beautiful.” Life can be magical and amazing but there can also be immense pain and disappointment. We must be realistic of this intense physics of extreme. We must also be humble and accept that we are lucky for the simple things.

Sometimes my writing saddens me because they are all about pain. But my writing is a cathartic process of pulling out the thorns and daggers life has cruelly wounded me with. I am wiser and highly perceptive and intuitive and empathetic. There is clarity and power in my writing and it is all hard earned. If we are to pursue what we love in life we have to earn it. When I stand up and do a poetry reading, it may be a poem about a past experience or a fictitious piece but I write it and say it with raw emotion because I have felt nearly every type of despair on earth. When I read a poem I say it with conviction because I earned my Right to Write. I had the long hard battle in life and the Victory is sweet. It is also bittersweet.

I know how cruel life can be I know loneliness and I know how unbearable it is to be alone. I have felt so I alone I have trembled violently as if about to self-combust. Sadly we do not die from these battle scars. It would be easier if we did. The only solace I can give anybody else also going through the same pain is a meditation I do.

I visualize myself in the arms of Jesus. I am weak, I have collapsed he is holding me and he raises me up to the sky. I believe that he’s holding me high up to heal me. Another visualization is I imagine my heart is out of my body and in Jesus’s hand it is visibly damaged with stab wounds, cuts etc. I imagine Jesus putting his other hand over my heart and healing it for me. I try to imagine the scars and scabs vanish but I cannot, though I have faith Jesus will restore me someday, one day.

All that matters in life is that I be bold and daring always. I may be broken but I am not dead and that means I have not lost out. As painful as life is there is some gift to obtain even if it just to stare at the clouds.

When I nearly died the 3rd time I was driven to put an end to my life. It happened on my birthday despite all my optimistic planning: go to London, hotel booked and everything. But I was surrounded by too many bad people and life overthrew me. So ‘it’ happened. But now I see all my suffering is similar to Christ’s. It is nowhere near his level of suffering. Here I was thinking I almost died and this is how people treat me. Yet look what we did to the only begotten son. Christ had it worse. That’s not to discount our own suffering but I now understand why we must turn to Jesus: he is the only one that understands.¬†It is devastating that our only salvation is not even physically here and that can make us feel more alone. In part we are alone. “You’re no one until someone let’s you down,” there’s no other place to put hope in like a friend or institution. The trick is to see this truth, accept it and not slip into¬†despair. Nobody is gonna rescue you….

Lastly suicide is never an option. My only reason is that to do so would send a soul to Hell.

If any of this resonates with you. I guess all I can say is pray and just take that leap of faith and believe that God has you in the palm of his hand. And pray for Jesus. Nobody ever says that but pray for him because I know he’s looking down on the world and he is devastated. I know Jesus is more powerful, I believe he is in Heaven and that Heaven is a happy place. When I say pray for Jesus I mean consider him in your prayers as¬†you would pray for a loved one’s happiness so pray for his also. It is an act of honoring him.¬†We so easily forget about him…

Through Christ I became able to understand all the suffering inflicted on me. And being the romantic poet as I am I would dare to label myself a victim soul. I am in this world but not of this world….

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from Christ’s side, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malicious enemy defend me
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto Thee
That I may praise Thee with Thy saints

and with Thy angels
Forever and ever
Copyright © Catherine Vaughan 2016