My initial reluctance…


Another blogger confession going deeper on the last post.

Originally I felt compelled to blog because I really didn’t have any friends, moreover nobody to talk to about the things I like and have that dialogue. There was not and still not one soul on this planet who knows what my favourite song/film/book is. Sometimes facing this reality feels devastating. In the Western world, generally speaking, you have that identity, people that know and care about you get the privilege to hear and share these treasures. So how do you cope when you don’t have that? Enter blogging….

I guess that’s why I’ll blurt out a song with it’s lyrics across this blog. Yet also the reason why I have shied away from writing about the things I love on this website. Putting this kind of information out there actually limits my chance of true connection. Because heck people could just Google you…

I’m still stuck in that same unknown state. Of course I appreciate anonymity. (I don’t like taking selfies.) But it’s that human connection of being known by a small circle of friends that is typical of life in a ‘developed’ country that I still continue to lack despite my efforts to redress it. I’ve lost out on a lot of life and maybe the balance doesn’t really get restored and that’s what I’m trying to deal with. You have to give up the hope because the hope is what can weigh you down.

Ultimately it is blogging that has paved the way for me get certain types of opportunities and increase my chance of some kind of interaction with others. So I have to give it all that I have. I have to give up the hope and the dream that someday, somehow I would actually make genuine connections where there’s a real like-mindedness because now that I’m online, sincerity from others becomes more hazy…



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